Saturday, July 31, 2010

alone

an ex-colleague of mine came over and had a chat with us.

we have not chat... as in deep chat for the longest time and i told him wat happened.

and he said "nevermind la. find a new one la" =.=

then i proceed with why am i working nite shifts now. and then he said it is pretty difficult to find new one cos there no time at all. haha...

working during the nite shift is pretty tiring and whenever there's time left, i'd rather stick to my bed. even the only time i go to malls is impromtu trips after my work in the morning.

things back home seems to be going on pretty well. and then will proceed with serious packing. :) really need to get things done and over with.

friends and colleagues have been pretty supportive and encouraging. they have suggested and offered help but i rejected due to some reasons.

something struck me hard yesterday. i havent speak to anyone about this actually, except ash ong and also that i ranted out in a forum. thank u ash and forumers. although u guys may not know wat happened exactly till giving the wrong perception, perhaps knowing there is someone who is reading and giving feedbacks made me feel relieved.

i was in the car talking with my aunt about my cousin brother and she said me and him are very alike. well., perhaps we are both sagittarius, on the same date. just different year. my aunt agreed and said yea... both of us "bou hei mm bou yao". meaning... we only deliver good news but not bad news. we tend to either bury it well, leave it as it is or it is just plain because, its bad news, why talk about it? i dont know about him, but thats me...

apart of my midnite shift affected my social life. i guess there's another thing too. i cannot absorb anymore negative vibes. once i hear issues/problems/concern or watever u name it, i will feel agitated. hence, i slowly hide in my shell, my comfort zone. i rather sit at cafes alone and hog on my laptop or go to malls alone and browse stuffs or eat alone. i used to think that all these are pretty lonely. i was afraid of being alone. but when u really need peace, doing activities alone is actually comforting.

i think i wanna go ikea, alone. ^^

2 comments:

jwong said...

i work shifts before for 2.5 years.. morning, noon, night.

your time definitely all messed up. not sure what is in your mind now.. but whatever it is just look up the sky, it's so wide you cant find any borders...you'll surely get what you want someday somewhere =)

and.. =) i as well will sit at cafes alone, walk alone.. watching movies alone.. you know, at times.. you really feels better doing things alone =)

cheer up..

Lil Ms Thong said...

hey jwong...
thank u so much for ur comment. especially the part about the sky with no borders. :)