Saturday, November 28, 2009

Tmrw is Sunday...

a day that i need to make my decision whether this rship should go on or not...
obvious enough it is weighing towards to patching up with her...
but somehow i reminded me myself, dont be selfish. just because i love her, and she have to suffer all that temper of mine!?


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Berhenti Berharap - Sheila on 7

suddenly i miss this song very much...

aku tak percaya lagi
dengan apa yang kau beri
aku terdampar di sini
tersudut menunggu mati

aku tak percaya lagi
akan guna matahari
dengan mampu menerangi
sudut gelap hati ini

aku berhenti berharap
dan menunggu datang gelap
sampai nanti suatu saat
tak ada cinta kudapat

kenapa ada derita
bila bahagia tercipta
kenapa ada sang hitam
bila putih menyenangkan...

aku pulang...
tanpa dendam
kuterima.. kekalahanku

aku pulang...
tanpa dendam
kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu

kau ajarkan aku bahagia
kau ajarkan aku derita
kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
kau tunjukkan aku derita
kau berikan aku bahagia
kau berikan aku derita

Back to chorus**

Single - Day 3

yep... 3rd day...

ystd was talking to her over sms the whole day. and there's something wrong with SG telco i think. everytime when we sms like through and flow. at the end i will be receiving repeated smses. which annoys me bcos i was at work.


no. still no conclusion.

i took a day off this sunday and checked with her if she is able to come to kl to talk about it. it is tiring to talk over things over sms and calls. what more with the repeated smses which annoys the hell out of me and it is not helping us to solve the issue. and when im annoyed, things got worst. and then, i throw temper again. =.= u cant really know how the other person is expressing. especially people like me. i dont know how to express feelings with words... so i figured the best is to talk face to face. and whatever dramas happen. we're both there to console each other. not being alone.

she got mistaken that the reason to ask her here is to return her stuffs back to her. and to break her heart, again. =.=" how drama can she be? sigh.
if i were to return the stuffs, i would just mail them. and to break her heart, i can just do it over the phone. it is easier to break someones heart over the phone anyways. there's no need to meet that person, break her heart and then she start crying and begging and start with all the drama. too much hassle that way, no? sometimes, i just wish she can see things wider. think of more positive posibilities.

im still torn. very torn in between. i dont know to patch back or not. i know i am not a great gf. i always throw temper until there's a point she said im mentally abusing her. thats when it struck me that my temper is getting worst and she really dont deserve it. and thats why i still dont know to continue or not. bcos i really dun wanna abuse her anymore... sigh...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Single - Day 2

i wanted to check in my cafe world so i switch on my lappie. and once my desktop wallpaper shows... my eyes got wet.

"cut that crap michelle. u r strong. it's just another break up. u cant cry"

i kept telling myself that...

and obviously. i failed.

that picture was taken when i was in singapore. the 1st and only time up till now i went oversea.

i think i'll go next yr again. with only one purpose. and will be my main purpose.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Single day 1

when i was showering just now, it struck me that im back to single again. and then... i thought back some of the old memories. and then... i broke down and cried.

i suddenly felt so weak, and i didnt like the feeling. i hate being weak.

i looked in the mirror after i came out of the bathroom. i looked like a zombie. from the cryings last nite, this morning and in the bathroom. my eyes looked like its gonna pop out anytime soon.

goin to see dr to get my MC and then gonna binge.


i know she have not been trusting me. what is a rship w/o trust?
i know we are great together, when we are physically together. thats why even my frens ask "i tot u guys are very stable?"... i guess not.
when we are apart... there's full of heartaches...
when we're apart... i know i've been verbally abusive. hence, i decided to let her go. she dont need to go through all that mental abuse. i know i havent been a great gf. never will be. she's great. thats why i dont deserve her.

i cant really breathe now. i've been crying so much until the extend i need to stop myself from crying. stop myself from being weak.
i have to be strong. i cant cry. sometimes, i forced myself to be strong until i do not know how to fall back and be vulnerable anymore.

its not that i do not want to meet. im angry. if a person wants to meet u. she will be there near u, not far away when u still need to wait for 1 hr plus after midnite shift. im tired. i dont want to rush. i dont like last minutes planning. i dont like sudden visits...

good bye watts.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Friday, November 13, 2009

Cafe World in FB

1st incident
it was on the weekend and suddenly my colleague ran back to his seat. i asked whats wrong. why need to ran back to his place.
his reaction was
"my chicken hangus d! my chicken hangus d!"


2nd incident
usually when my aunt reach home. and during my midnite shifts period. she will slowly come up stairs and wake me up, take her dinner, shower... then only she will go online. but... this time... she just throw her bag on the floor. took out the lappie and go online... in a very rushy way. and in a way... it woke me up, without her shaking me.
i asked her. what's happening?
her reaction was
"im cooking! im cooking! it's gonna be done alre!"


yup... the game is... cafe world...

out of curiousity... i tried it...

and i think i know why it is so addictive. the 'kanjiong-ness' of waiting for the food to cook and serve it... u can choose the food to cook within maybe 1 hour? den rush home from work, and serve the food in the game.

which as u can see here... the kanjiong-ness of waiting my food to be ready. :P

Kissing a girl

Bitching Mode : On

yes. i am definitely in the mood to bitch now. which i havent been doing for quite some time. and i pissed, and disgusted. blerghhhhh... d-i-s-g-u-s-t-e-d-!!

i know somehow girls who goes clubbing, and for the fun of it, they would kiss another girl. for whatever reason, i dont know la. it's clubbing, everybody can do the whackiest thing during clubbing.

but when i came accross this blog post. my 1st reaction was... wtf.

you... yea you. if u know who u r. yes you. if u dont, nvm. meaning, u do not have a mirror.

yea. it is true. kissing a girl doesnt mean that you r a lesbian. but, do u still need to put up a post, of pictures, of u... kissing a girl? what r u trying to prove? 10 yrs down the road, when u get married with a guy, u r gonna dig up the pictures and show to the whole world and say "seeeee, i told u so. i kiss a girl and im not a lesbian!" issit issit?! and those pictures is as tho like kena force to kiss the girl.

i paling zha dou is that, u... comparing yourself with xiaxue?! hahahahaaa! joke of the month for me! please la. dont 'men-sia sui-kan' the 3 award winner la.

i believe u did watch xiaxue's video, then only u compare yourself rite? but den hor... did u compare your pictures and that video ah? that video, the way they kiss, is really full blown kiss ok? yours? just a peck. and mind you, it's only tips on tips your both of your lips. the lips never touch completely. eh... ms. straight, try 'kissing' like that with you boyfriend la. see if he calls that a kiss. haihyohhh...

few weeks back, there's a forum thread in one of the lesbian forum. it mentioned that lesbians are being lesbians, because they are just seeking for attention. boy, was i furious when i read about that. and now, when i see your post, now i know why. it is people like u.. WANNABEs like u... made people have this perception.

School Demolishing...

Back in school, sometimes u really hate school until the extend u just wish that u can just demolish the damn school rite? But however, we do not have the guts to do so.

Listen to this... so darn cute. :D


However, i really really love the slang.
my favourite part is
"blow it up, that'll be better"
"is this is a demolishing company or a joke factory"
"i'll fax you through a plan of the school and my teachers' names"


Thursday, November 12, 2009

Women with bigger breasts found to be smarter

haha! someone actually post this link in FB... and it's from thestar

Women with bigger breasts found to be smarter

A STUDY conducted in the United States showed that women with big breasts are not necessarily less intelligent than those who are less endowed.

Quoting a Singapore newspaper article, Sin Chew Daily said women with bigger breasts were found to be smarter instead.

It said the study was conducted in Chicago to find out whether the size of a woman’s bust affected her brain power.

The study, involving 1,200 women, was conducted by a female researcher. The subjects were divided into five groups, from extra small to extra big.

The report said it was possible such women were smarter due to the higher level of female hormones that could result in better development in the brain.

now now... who still wanna say 'boh dai mou lou'*?
*big breast no brain.

Birthday Wish List...

muahahahaa! my bday is here again in less than 1 month. and as usual, i'll dream of my wishlist which it never got fulfilled before at all.

but no harm to dream once in a while, no? :P

on top of my list now is, i actually wish that there is someone who is willing to clear my card debts. hahahaha! :P
which will never happen, i know. like i said. i saja wan to mimpi.

wish list #1

Nintendo DSi Official Webbie

this is by far something that i really want now. and even i have my own money, im torn between white and pink.

DSi comes with camera! and there so many functions to play with the camera. to name a few, there is normal lens, distortion lens, color pad lens, mischief lens, merge lens, frame lens... etc.

Wish list #2

Hello Kitty shaped Handphone

cute rite cute rite? but i heard that it lags. but hey... for RM450, what kinda hoo-hah operating system u want? but what my colleague said is true la. being a gadget freak, this piece is like rubbish to us. hooookayyyy... but is really damn cute!

Wish list #3

Customised Necklace/Bracelet

i actually wanna order this myself but i really dont know what to choose for fonts la, name la, design la... i even got hard time deciding bracelet or necklace cos both oso look very nice! shall i put michelle? so simply hor? or spiderlily? or frozendream? or... whatelse?

Wish list #4

Blackberry Curve 8520

oh fuckingliciously fantastic, no? :P
ok. i have yet to do some research on this but im totally dying for it.

and above... all oni can dreammmmmmmmmmmm...

oh. initially, i wanted psp GO also, but then... bah... the review is so damn bad about it. and how the fuck to download a bloody 1gb game in m'sia which the shitty connection? goodnesssss...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


tell me tell me...

tell me this template is sweet and cute...
cos it is in pink~! pinkuuuu~

i got this template from yummylolly

i always loved her templates. so soft and and sweet!!


anyways, airasia is having this promo where it is free seats. only tax is charged. i've alre get my flight to SG for baby's bday next yr! ^^ thats the 1st thing that crossed my mind.

you can only book your flight from 11/Nov/09 onwards until 14/Nov/09. and traveling between 01/May/2010 and 30/Oct/2010

and when i told baby about this promo, she straight away ask me to check for bali's rate. which i actually totally forgotten about our plan. all i can think of is her bday. :P

but somehow somewhat... we decided to wait for the travel fair instead. :D

apa lu tunggu lagi? book lah...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Screwed up

ok. i just screwed up my blog. i lost all my sidebar stuffs. T.T

i'll add in the links soon... T.T

Halloweeeeeeen night~

im getting more and more uninspired to blog. look at my last update man... sheesh... this blog is so dead now. sighsss... anyhows... hopefully after this, i'll have to mood to blog more...

rewind back about a week ago. there's this haloween event at park royal bossa nova. and had lotsa fun there. at 1st baby didnt wanna come to kl cos short of leaves alre. but she came anyways. :P

on 30th after my afternoon shift, i checked in to Crystal Crown and rested a lil bit while waitin for baby to arrive. her bus suppose to arrive at 2am... when i was watching tv, it was a horror movie to the volume was at like 5 only. when watching, i heard a girl moaning... being the kay poh me... i actually stuck myself on the wall so that i can listen clearer. :P
but after a while, the moaning stopped... and i heard the door opened. and closed. i was thinking "wa, fuck finish d den leave straight away..."
so i continued watching the horror movie. and go for some channel surfing...
at about 1.45am, i left the room. and now i know why i hate watching horror movies. while walking to the lift, i got this eerie feeling. when in the lift, i got this eerie feeling there's something in the lift at the corner, u know like those typical horror movies, the hantu is at the corner? yea. that feeling. den when arrive at the parking lot, also eerie feeling cos the carpark is so damn quiet and old and it was at forsaken time, 1.45 am! when i got in my car, i also takut that something will pop out from the back seat. wah lan eh! i swear i will never ever watch horror movies ever again!!!

while on the way to kl central to pick baby up, there was a jam along the highway. roadblock... by the time i arrive kl central was about 2.15 i think...

dilly dally... den sleep.

31st oct
woke up early for the breakfast and headed to ikano to get stuffs for the halloween. baby got a hair cut and i got myself wash and blow. ^^

got back to the room and shower and get ready. obviously i took longer time cos wanna shower la, make up la etc etc...

went and pick nicole up and headed to KL park royal.

me and baby @ Dome

had our dinner at Dome, Lot 10. after sitting around and chat. annie joined us at dome. and we walked over to park royal and met daf there.

we were having our last smoke before going in to bossa nova, we met astre, hazel, von and jess oso. ^^

us in Bossa Nova, Park Royal

oh... we met 2 singaporeans too~ connie and agnes.

when we met the SG couple. at 1st we thought connie is the one who will be the craziest one. mana tau... agnes crack us up like mad.

but they couldnt stand the smoke that much so they need to go out for fresh air.

at about... nearly 3am, the party ends, and we made our move to pappa rich near jln alor. its my 1st time there and boy the food was great!

had a few more laughs thanks to agnes, and also baby's gardenia, char siu pau and tau sa pau joke... until now me and nicole still spreading the joke like spreading butter on gardenia.
after pappa rich, we walked the SG couple back to their hotel. imperial hotel which is located behind KFC. they said they got FREE KFC smell everyday. lol... the nite has not ended yet! we actually stood in front of the hotel and talk some more!! if its not drizzling, i think we would stand there for few more hours. hahaha!

me, baby, nicole and daf walked back to our car and left. i sent nicole back home den we headed back to our room. we were so damn tired we quickly showered and sleeeeeep... and even skipped breakfast. and req for late check out. lol...

overall. it was a really great nite. the party is just so so... but the company was great... :)